OCCASIONAL BULLETIN #114 – AUGUST 12TH, 2016
Dear VOCS Members:
This OB is all about the 5th, more or less annual, playing of croquet for the honour of winning the much coveted Warren-Dunn Cup, that battered token of some kind of supremacy which, as of this year, has never been won by the light blue side! Standing on the verge of Bardnic as this is being written, we must leave the reportage on that event to OB #115!
THE FIFTH, ALMOST ANNUAL, OXFORD–CAMBRIDGE CROQUET MATCH FOR THE WARREN-DUNN CUP, TO BE HELD AT THE WEST POINT GREY LAWN BOWLING CLUB, 4376 WEST 6TH AVENUE IN VANCOUVER, FROM 12:30 TO 6:00 PM ON SUNDAY, AUGUST 28TH, 2016
As can be seen from the above image of a little-studied corner of the Bayeux Tapestry, croquet is not a new thing. It has survived through the millennia because it combines the best of the excitement of sporting competition with the unremitting joy of doing absolutely nothing. It has also been argued that its coming into its glory days in the Victorian era was that other well-known human joy and excitement:
One is reminded of G.A. Henty’s immortal lines from the Union Jack Annual of 1882:
“Croquet on a shady lawn with my Juliana,
Lozenges I gave my love, Epicacuana.”
But we digress.
For those who have not been to the venue for the Match, we attach above a nice shot of the lawn bowls side of the ancient lawns that allow for a very decent game of croquet, and the indispensable club house from whence will flow a torrent of those old VOCS Summer standbys: Pimm’s, tea, cucumber sandwiches, scones and cream, and many other restorative goodies which support the heavy work of malleting and watching the red, black, yellow and blue balls racing and inching under the hoops to the red, black, yellow and blue post of “home”.
We at VOCS guarantee that there is absolutely no actual skill needed to do really quite well at croquet. Of course, some people get a leg up by memorizing the rules, purchasing personally fitted mallets and practicing quietly in corners – like those people who get double firsts and claim never to have cracked a book. In croquet, pass is quite as good as honours – for all the reasons noted at the beginning of this reverie.
There are two ways to attend the Match. The first, and obviously most strenuous mentally and physically (although not “very” in either case), is to join the ladder of players and compete either to keep the dark blues’ 100% record of wins or to break that record with a 2016 light blue triumph! To join in at the player level, you will need to defray the cost of lawn rental, equipment and “tuck” to the extent of $30 per player. The second, and obviously less strenuous in any way, is to come as what is called a “guest” to watch, chat and snooze as well as consume “tuck”. In that case, you will need to defray the cost of tuck to the extent of $10 per guest.
Having made up your mind between “player” and “guest” (what is effectively “slow” and “stop”), in order to participate in this last big event of the VOCS Summer Season 2016, you must then get in touch with Simon Dorey, Lord Croquet of VOCS, at: moc.l1537463316iamg@153746331601yer1537463316odnom1537463316is1537463316
(Good memories of Match #1!)
Anyone wearing 1066 croquet attire will get a $1.00 reduction on the entrance fee!
We at VOCS, in retirement….
Vancouver Oxford & Cambridge Society
1291 West 40th Ave.
ph: 604 263 5766
cel: 604 374 7916